The Beginning

To say that I'm constantly up to something is an understatement...
The looks on my husband's face when we are casually sitting at the table for dinner during a "date night" and I subtly say "...so...I was thinking" are PRICELESS!
I keep him guessing...and honestly some of the stuff surprises me too!

I honestly thought I'd be THE LAST PERSON to blog!  I feel horrible after reading other people's blogs because I feel so inadequate...mostly about the type of mother that I am.  (I'm telling you it's a good thing we're not graded on that...well I suppose we are, but you know at least there's not a stranger that comes to observer periodically to see how we are doing.)  I'd fail or at least have a D anyway.  All that to say...for a while I took a hiatus from reading blogs...and then within the past few months I found myself sometimes lurking.  I have some awesome women in my life and they (you if you're reading) ROCK!

Okay, so why me and why now?
Well...I HATE journaling!  I don't know if it's the literal writing/penmenship aspect or what.  Every bible study or women's group I've attended capitalizes on how important that tool is.  And I've tried it...I promise something about it doesn't work for me.
Anyway, recently I've had something spur inside of me for things I want to do...a recent idea that I presented to my husband was cast aside sometime later and with that (and my own revelations) I've decided to agree with a "wait" for now.  So...with that idea laid to rest for a bit I've been doing my own thing...which right now consists of studying my booty off for the NARM in February.  and with that I've also decided "Hey, it's a new year...I should renew my quiet time in the mornings."  So far, so good.  Could I do more, I'm sure...but one step at a time and no guilty feelings allowed.  The Lord has already been blessing this time and with my husband struggling right now (due to our son Thomas, 13 - completely separate blog!) I've been able to share some of the peace and wisdom I've received during the quiet time and in turn become my husband's cheerleader.  (Another separate topic!  He says I'm not so much of one and I in turn reply that I never was and he should have seen that one a MILE away!)  LOL
So...yes, the Lord is working on me too!
Thus...kind of an glimpse of where I'm at...I loathe New Year's Resolutions, but I like changing yourself for the better.  I guess as long as I make it about the latter that just happens to coincide with a new year, then I'm good, right?!
This year I decided to go "All In"
I want to be a better mom; I want to be a better wife; I want to be the best ____ the Lord wants me to be!
(fill in the blank with all the "hats"/roles that I am to fulfill...those I know I already am and those the Lord is calling me to be)
In some ways I know some things I can do to help these avenues, but in many ways I have no idea what it means or where to begin.
One thing I'm doing is nutrition related....and it's going to BLOW!  (reason #5 I think for starting a blog)  I know I need to "journal" this somehow and the thought of pen/paper is NOT exciting.  I sat at the computer and thought about just opening a word document, but that didn't seem like enough.  I suppose on some level that my thought process associates the prospect of someone else reading this and being able to hold me accountable some way is better for me.?  I don't know...still trying to figure it out...and by "it" I mean myself.  (good luck I think some of you are saying...nice)

So...we'll see how this goes, since this is my first post I'll keep it at that (for fear of deleting it or having some other craziness happen)  WARNING to those who haven't quite been exposed to all that is Melissa.  I do not plan to put up any fronts on my blog.  IE this is raw, uncut...WYSIWYG (computer lingo for what you see is what you get!)  I never profess to be perfect (well I did once, a long time ago to Steven and then clarified with "I was as close to perfect as he'll get" - but alas, another story!)  But see what I mean?  I will not be holding back...mostly to keep myself honest and accountable.  The problem is that I can play mind games with myself and if I don't keep this authentic, then it has no purpose.  So, enjoy...or good luck, not sure which is more fitting.  (and I hope I don't scare you off...just know that deep down the Lord will convict me and eventually set me back on the right path when I stray)