Sigh
I thought when you found and were doing what your calling was, things would fall into place.
Bigger Sigh
WHY DO I FEEL SO INADEQUATE?
WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO DO SOMETHING MORE / DIFFERENT?
WHY DO I FEEL JUDGED?
WHY DO I FEEL LIKE A BAD MOM?
WHY DO I FEEL LIKE A BAD WIFE?
WHY DO I SEEM TO BUTT HEADS WITH SOMEONE ON A REGULAR BASIS?
WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I'M CONSTANTLY LETTING SOMEONE DOWN?
Stupid feelings.
Why can't I turn them off?
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I am struggling with "what's next?"
I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
More School? Which path?
More home life? What about growing my practice? Bills?
Step down in some areas? Is this fear talking? myself talking?
Step up in some areas? What?! When?! How?!
Volunteer? (See questions above!)
Please don't get me wrong...I LOVE what I do! This is what I've dreamed about since I can remember.
I just don't think I'm very good with all the in's and out's.
I have fallen FLAT ON MY FACE and wish I could have "Do Over's"!!!
Don't get me wrong, I do not expect things to be perfect. And yes, I'm well aware of the enemy wanting to attack and get our focus off of where it should be.
I have learned so much and know that I'll continue learning. But I'm struggling...
We appreciate you "struggling" through with us, if only for a short time. I know we were a situation that brought you many questions you had to find the answers for, and learning you had to do quickly. We are glad to have walked through this with you and hope to work with you on another, hopefully less dramatic adventure someday soon.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your sweet words! I appreciate you letting me learn albeit not a situation either of us would have volunteered for. I am happy to learn and grow with such sweet people.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny, sometimes it's just helpful to verbalize and get things out there. Today when I got into the office I had 3 cards in my inbox with written affirmations, etc. It's not that it's always needed, but it's nice when we're struggling that the Lord shows us truths.