I'm confused.
I know we can't trust our feelings 100% of the time. I know that it's much better to run with what we "know" and not what we feel. I like to think I'm not run by my emotions...and then this month hits.
I have NO idea what's gotten into me.
About 6 weeks ago I decided to go see a nutritionist to get some help with "my face" and some other minor annoyances. I was so excited to get started and felt that for the most part I'm a healthy individual.
I was relieved to hear that I just needed some minor hormonal tweaks and that it'd all even out. The acne seemed like a reasonable fix too and I was all in (for the most part) even after hearing encouragement to be Gluten & Dairy Free. (Hey, I am when I am and not when I'm not...LOL) It's a goal, right?!? I'd hate to become perfect all at once!
Then this month hit and I have been so across the board and mostly down in the dumps it's not even funny.
I've been depressed before, I've started on that path of self-pity until I hit that last little rock and begin tumbling down in a spiral. This time feels different. I feel like I have no reason to be. Everything is fine. If I'm honest with myself, everything is great! Well, mostly anyway. Of course there's always room for improvement, but my husband and I are great; I am FINALLY doing what I've wanted with my life; etc!
I keep stopping to ask myself if I'm missing something, if there was something else I was supposed to do?
....
And that's what comes from it, nothing.
I'm hoping to pull out of this funk, cause I can assure you it's no fun. I see a life out there for me. I'm not sure if it's missed expectations, the "little" stress of bills/income/etc. or what. I usually expect some form of looming junk around my birthday but this year was a bit different. I don't think it was related at all. I think, to some extent at least, I've come to terms with my birthday. Don't even get me started there!
I did have a thought come to me this morning that I need to do something about. I know and have heard it said that when a person starts to get this way they should do things for other people. It's been a while since I've done an official missions project...I hoping that by connecting and doing that I'll be refocused. And it'll be completely alright with me if it's not on myself!
